Review on Ben X

Autism, by its definition, is a neural disorder that affects the normal development of social and communicative skills, also involving the symptoms of repetitive and closed behaviors. Those who have autistic symptoms usually cannot interact with other people, and find it particularly difficult to connect with other people in emotional level. 

The movie ‘Ben X’, which deals with a story of an autistic teenager named Ben, helps us understand what autism really is. We also get hints on what it’s like to have autistic behaviors, and how the society – the normal people – should treat those who are suffering from autism.

The movie begins with the computer game Ben plays in his room; for Ben, who has been diagnosed to have autism and found it difficult to interact with people in the real world, computer game has been the only place where he can truly soothe his pains and connect himself to others.

As the movie goes on, we can see that even outside the game, the real world he views is frequently overlapped with the imaginary scenes from the computer game. This indicates one of the most significant, but often neglected, characteristics of autistic people; they recognize the world with ‘their own unique ways.’ Ben, in this case, also has a feeling and emotion, and has his own way of interpreting the world. Although he cannot interact well with others, it doesn't justify the misunderstandings and harassment from the people around him. He feels anger, shame, desire, frustration, and even, bliss as normal people usually do, but what he only lacks is the way he can 'express' his emotions and thoughts to the outside world.

The movie reaches its climax, as Ben finds his own salvation from the computer game, again. Although it may be imaginary, he finds a girl whom he had connected online so far and starts to open his mind with the girl. Slowly he opens himself to the girl, expresses his thorough feelings and emotions to her, and finally finds his own way to sympathize with other people. He is healed. He changes. 

But what about others?

What I want to focus on after watching this movie is not only on Ben’s behaviors, but also on those of other people around him, including his classmates. 

In this movie, there is a scene where Ben is sexually harassed by his classmates in the classroom, and where he expresses his anger by breaking the windows. Seeing this part, I've realized that what really matters is how other people should have treated Ben. But then, Ben’s classmates now come and say, “We wanted to treat him normally, but he couldn't just accept us.”

At the end, Ben commits suicide on the ship and his funeral is held, but it is turned out that his suicide was actually a fake to deceive other people. At that moment, Ben and his family see the people who deeply repent their ignorance and indifference towards him, who feel shame from teasing and harassing him, and who start to sympathize with his situation. His mother says, "Someone had to die." Yes, someone had to die to let them understand him, and until then, nobody tried to sympathize with him. 

What does her saying really mean? When treating autism, what we have to do is not only fight for the patients who go through mental, emotional disorder, but also remove the invisible wall that prevents us - normal people - from understanding them, from sympathizing with them. Ironically, just as Ben's classmates said Ben couldn't accept them, they couldn't accept him, and just as Ben couldn't sympathize with them, they couldn't sympathize with him, either. Such wall, perhaps, unconsciously exists in the mind of every one of us, even though we may not be as harsh as Ben's classmates in the film. 

This movies gives us an indication on how we should treat autism. Through his lonely struggles, Ben could heal himself, and could free himself from the fights against his pains. His fights portrayed in this film gives me a message that what we have to do for these people like Ben is just to let them be themselves, let them triumph over their struggles, and understand them, reminding me of a true meaning of 'sympathizing' with others. 

UCAS Personal Statement

Seungchan Kim

University of Oxford, Engineering Science

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated by anything related to science. In elementary school, I was an inventor who found delight in manufacturing electric kits and joining line-tracing races with the robot-cars I created. I was also a nature-researcher, who loved climbing up mountains to observe the ecosystems of various forests. In middle school, I was a mathematician; solving difficult algebraic problems and exploring the intricacy of geometric proofs, I was truly mesmerized by the power of preciseness and coherence of logic used in mathematics.

Upon entering high school, my interest in science settled in a new area: physics. I love physics, in that it helps me to answer the questions of ‘Why?’ Why does an apple fall to the ground? Why do the planets orbit around elliptical paths? Why does an electric field create a magnetic field? Taking the most advanced physics courses offered, including AP Physics B, AP Physics C, and Analytical Mechanics, I’ve learnt how to approach such fundamental questions. I’ve learnt how to understand the mechanisms of our universe. I’ve learnt why work and energy can be transferred, why forces accelerate objects, and why opposite charges are attracted to each other in electricity while identical charges repulse each other.

My passion for physics continued as I joined the school physics club, Hyeumnarae. There I delved into a deeper level of physics by conducting experiments and completing research on various topics, such as the motion of a magnetized coin and oscillation of spring toys. I participated in the 11^th Korean Young Physicists’ Tournament with my teammates, where we were awarded the national championship. I also conducted research on fluid dynamics problems in my senior year, and entered my findings in the 58^th Gangwon State Science Fair. Through these experiences, what I’ve learned is that experimental physics is not a neat study of right and wrong. Rather, it is the process of examining the validity and invalidity of hypotheses, comparing theories and practices, and constantly doubting the causes of errors in experiments. These experiences in the lab widened my view of physics, and helped me understand what it’s like to be a real scientist.

Apart from my passion in science, another theme that defines my high school life is my enthusiasm for debate. As a member and vice captain of school debate club ‘English Debate Society’, I engaged in numerous debate sessions and learned how to articulate my thoughts and communicate with others. I also participated in national, international debate championships, where I made friends with debaters from all over the world. Moreover, through debate, I expanded my understanding and perspective towards the society and the world I live in. Debate has taught me that in the world there are problems big and small that must be addressed. Through learning and contemplating on these problems and sharing ideas with other debaters, I was able to view the world with a broader perspective.

My deep passion for science, which I’ve shown in the physics lab and other science activities, and my wide interest in societies, which I’ve gained from debate, are what matter to me most, and what I want to continue learning in the future. And this is exactly why I want to study further in the engineering science department. I believe engineering is the only area that can satisfy both my intellectual curiosity in science and my will to make changes for a better society. There, I hope to combine my two passions by delving into a much deeper level of science, and learn how to transform the knowledge I gain into technological developments. My ultimate dream is to be an engineer contemplating how I can apply science and technology to benefit the world we live in.

Outliers Journal

When I read the chapter about the ethnic theory of plane crashes, I was very surprised that this book deals with the story of Korean Airline, which I always use whenever I go to my home, Jeju Island. Before reading this chapter, I didn’t know that Korean Air had the higher flight accident rate than any other airlines in the world. Behind the fatally high rate of flight accidents of Korean Air, there were cultural and ethnic factors that led to these series of accidents during flight.

There might be some minor factors that led to the accidents, such as bad weather conditions, late flight schedules, or minor plane malfunctions. But this book suggests that one of the reasons why flight accidents happen, especially in the cases of Korean Air specifically for several years, is the lack of intimate interaction between the captain and co-captain during flight. It comes from Korea’s cultural and traditional factor that stays between captain and co-captain, or worker and his boss.

Let’s analyze some quotes introduced in the book. “Captain hit First Officer with the back of his hand for making the error” implies the very rigid and strict relationship between the captain and the first officer. Imagine how it would be difficult for the officer to comment something about flight or suggest his opinions to his boss, captain, considering that the captain hit him with his hand for making the error. Another line “It’s first time to meet you” implies the unfriendly relationship between captain, officer, and engineer. This book says that right before the flight, the three workers meet first time without fully knowing each other. Considering that 44 percent of the flight accidents, according to the book, occur when the two pilots have never flown together before, this implies a huge possibility of miscommunication and lack of interaction among flight workers – captain, officer, and engineer – which can lead to flight accidents. Frequent occurrences of the flight accidents of Korean Air support this claim.

After reading this chapter, I thought that this type of mistakes and errors may occur even in other cases, even if they are not flight accidents. I think everything we work on together in the society requires some sorts of teamwork and collaboration, and the rigid ambience between members may be the most harmful factor in the teamwork. The leader of the team or project should establish a collaborative atmosphere in which the members can freely share their opinions with eagerness.

Worst essay - chain writing

It was a dark and stormy night. When I walked down the street, heavy rains blocked my eyesight, and I felt I couldn't go further any more. I was depressed, partly because of my powerlessness, but what's even more frustrating was that I didn't know why I was walking the street. I didn't know where I was. I could not see what was over there: what I could do was only to stick to the side, grabbing anything I could touch, and walking as slowly as possible with any possibility confronting me just in front of me. Frustrating darkness and storms could keep me down and make me drown. I was hopeless, until I heard a familiar tune that would lead me out of this abysmal terror. Judas! Ju da-ah-ah! Judas! Juda-ah-ah! It was my favorite singer, Lady Gaga, dressed up in her usual fish suit, and she was holding hands with my secret love and roommate, Dongho. They appeared, and I felt rescued. However, Judas stopped and suddenly Katy Perry's song was heard. OMG. The singer I hate the most! Can anybody turn on Judas again? Where's my salvation gone? Oh God. I want Judas! Give me Judas! Katy Perry came along with this hairy guy with nipple rings. He suddenly threw her to the ground and started to play his guitar crazily and he sang - or roar? Unbearably sick with all the noise I bashed his head in with a trash can that was near me. He crashed down, drooling and his eyeballs showing only with whites. I was scared. I ran away. Suddenly all the sounds disappeared. It seemed like that 2 was the only living thing in the entire universe. Freaked out, I ran faster. I needed to escape the moment.
Judas, Judas! Wow!! No, Katy Perry!
With this experience, I became a very courageous person. I overcame this scary experience and nightmare that followed. And because I have this courage that no one else can have, you should accept my application. Thank you.

Outlier Journal 2

Outlier Journal 2

- After reading Harlan, Kentucky

    While the first half of the book Outlier deals with 'opportunity', the second half of this book deals with the topics on 'legacy'. What is the meaning of legacy, then? Legacy is something handed down from the past, ancestors, or predecessors, which influences those who live in the present. The author says that, like 'opportunity', legacy from the past and its continuous accumulation is something that greatly influences the success. The story about Harlan, Kentucky is great example of this. 

   What happened in the town of Harlan is abbreviated into one phrase, "Die Like a Man, Like Your Brother Did!" The people of the two families, Howard and Turner, have confronted each other and fought for many years. Starting from small conflicts between the two families, the fight between Howards and Turners became very huge tragedy of the town. Since there was a prevalent mood within the society that people should respect 'culture of honor', the feuds between the families became more severe and more violent. Some people died in the fights, only leaving huge damages to both families and townspeople.

    Funny thing was that it was not the only place where this type of tragedy occurred. Here, the author states that these events were quite frequent even in adjacent areas, and he calls this as a cultural 'pattern'. He attributes the tragedy between the two families not only as a small conflict between them, but also from the cultural aspects of these regions. Since these regions are not very fertile areas, farming was not very easy; therefore, the people of these regions became more aggressive and willing to fight to protect their properties. The author says that this cultural background contributed to the formation of 'culture of honor' in the towns. 

     I also agree with the author's opinion that some major events that occur around us are greatly affected not only by personal or environmental traits, but also by cultural background. For an easy example, China, Korea, and Japan each has very different cultural background due to the accumulation of their geographical, historical differences. And these different cultural backgrounds make some differences national characters of these nations or some different occurrences of events. I think the long accumulation of cultural basis is very influential factor in defining human's behaviors as well.  

   

Other's Essay

This is an essay from <50 Successful Harvard Application Essay>

Drops

Joe Masterman

   Water raced across the car windows as we pushed through the summer rain. My head buzzing against the glass, I watched drops of liquid personality race to the edge of the windowpane. 

    Just over my shoulder, my father was reading his newest "assignment," the same sort of thing he's put me through since I could first speak. 

    His industry on my behalf is unceasing, often welcome, occasionally tedious and annoying. That day, I thought I was glad for it. Glad that he has kept such a consistent interest in my life, my well-being, my future. Glad that he genuinely does want to help. 

    He looked up, shifting the list to where I could see it. We discussed my answers. After reading the last one aloud, he paused. His eyes seemed strained, almost concerned. 

   "And I guess this one was a joke?"

   His assignment was to write five things I wanted to gain from college. For the last one, I had written "chances to feel educated."

   His question cut me and clotted my throat. I felt defensive, hurt. His frankness made me think there was some obvious fact about education I had missed. I felt foolish, as if my vision of college were just some ridiculous fantasy. 

     He waited for me to say yes. I didn't want to disagree with those earnest blue eyes, but I didn't agree with them, either. After a moment, a mangled sound escaped me, and my eyes found the window again. 

     The droplets of water were of different sizes, speeds, and paths. Sometimes their paths crossed, and they collided. Sometimes they simply drifted apart. 

     I love my father, but we have two very different minds. His is not wrong, but it looks for the next bullet point on the resume, the classes that yield an extra zero on the paycheck. He is focused and persevering, but he views knowledge - and, largely, the world - as a utility function. 

    I felt my father hold me in his gaze for a moment longer before shifting his eyes back to the road. "I mean, that's not really a defining goal. That's something that'll just come." He realized he had hurt me, but he wasn't sure how. After all, knowledge is only worth gaining if it is practical, and profitable. 

    As for me, I love the mind. I want to think, to learn, to understand. The themes of literature, connections of history, nuances of politics and law - these are what truly excite me. I find the feeling of growing, exploring, pursuing, and satiating my mind's appetite, both beautiful and empowering. I had been completely serious about what I had written. 

    I was torn between my appreciation for my father and my understanding of our differences. His words trickled through my head as I watched the water on the glass. 

    My father and I both want the same thing: the best for me. We just have quite different ideas of how that will come about. He and I, the drops on the window, we have our own paths. We converge. We diverge. We converge again. 

     There is something to what my father said. I will not be driven by mere economic gain, but I won't be cavalier about what I do, either. Though I don't completely agree with him, I can appreciate and embrace his discipline and sense of pain. It's not a race to the end. It's a journey. And no one path can get me all the way there by itself. 

     I looked at him until he looked back at me. Then, I took the list from his hand and asked, "So, what would you suggest for a goal?" 

     I won't change my views merely to appease my father, or anyone. But still, for him and for me, I'll see what he has to say. 

Last Time I Cried

            When I was young, I thought that crying was something that only weak people do. In the elementary school, for example, fights between boys always ended up with crying of weaker sides, and the stronger ones never cried. Girls who were watching horror movie – they always cried out of fear. Or those who were severely scolded by teachers always burst their tears at the end. Certainly, crying was a sign of weakness. Crying was surely a sign of humiliation and shame. That’s perhaps why I thought I must not cry before others.

             Until my high school life, I thought so.

             It was when I was junior at high school. As all know, a high school junior year is perhaps one of the most challenging times in one’s childhood life. I was no exception. Bombarded with enormous amount of workloads and assignments, I struggled to manage the tasks given to me. Teachers wanted me to maintain good grades and test scores, so I had to complete my presentation and team project for literature class, work on my term paper for history class, and finish my research project for Physics thesis. At the same time, seniors wanted me to actively join debate practice sessions and student press activities, which made me really hard to manage my schedule as a whole. Upcoming concerns for college admission which my friends just started to talk about also disturbed me. Above all, with all of these workloads, too much for seventeen-year old, combined, I couldn’t find what I should do and where I can complain about this.

             So I just cried. Of course, I didn't cry in front of my roommates, because I knew that crying was a sign of weakness, and I didn’t want to show my weak side to my roommates. I went to the bathroom, crouched on the toilet, and then, burst my tears. Perhaps it was a cry out of my stress, or so-called, high-school life pressure. There was no person to rely on in the dormitory; I couldn’t go back to my parents for months. Feeling loneliness, I wept for a while, then. I thought, nobody would hear my crying.

             After that, I came out of bathroom, and sat in front of my desk. I returned to my assignments, as if nothing had happened in the bathroom. But this time, my roommate came to me, as if he knew everything, and then quietly hugged me. I couldn’t bear the emotion coming out from my heart again. Perhaps he might have heard my weeping in the bathroom, I thought. But that wasn’t the point. The fact that my roommate was sympathizing with my tear - it did matter. And it was one precious cuddle that changed my viewpoints.

             Now I don’t think crying is a sign of weakness or shame. Crying makes people sympathize each other, or even, connect them. My junior year was full of new challenges, stresses, and pressure. I think that’s the same for all. But I don’t think it’s wise to endure them alone. For me, crying was a secret outlet to express my pressure, but at the same time, made me realize the value of those who’re around me.