On that day, I met my first roommate in my entire life (I had never ever lived with others in one room until I came to KMLA.) His name was Jaehyuk. He was a short, chubby guy, and I could notice that he loves playing baseball, inferring from his baseball cap and gloves in his backpack.
" Hey, what's your name?" he asked.
" My name is SeungChan, and I'm from Jeju-do"
" Oooh, I came from Seoul. My name is Jaehyuk. Nice to meet you."
" Nice to meet you, too. I hope I could have a great semester with you."
" Don't worry....it will be very exciting and funny!!"
Unfortunately, I couldn't catch what the word 'exciting' really meant. Next day, he started to enjoy an extremely 'exciting' life in the room. He played a lot of computer games - Starcraft, World of Warcraft, Maplestory, and even Tetris - during self-study period. I complained about his behaviors. I had to study math, memorize Word Smart vocabularies, and do my homework, but he distracted me a lot. Of course, he didn't seem to care about it.
" Jaehyuk, I think you should stop playing games."
" Would you like to join me?"
"Arrrrrr... we have to STUDY!! This is wrong...."
What's even more frustrating was that he always had conflicts with me on various issues. We have never had same opinions about anything. I liked listening to Rock music, while he thought that Rock is a mere mixture of annoying noises. Instead, he listened to Hip Hop, which I regarded a very low-quality music genre. He also loved to talk about baseball, while I loved Kim Yuna's figure skating video. I enjoyed watching the Pirate of Carribean and the Dark Knight, but he did not like any Hollywood movies.
This is how I lived with my first roommate in the first semester in KMLA. We ended up the semester with a conclusion that we were not a fitting roommate for each other: there were tremendous differences in lifestyle, hobbies, and interests.
But something unexplainable happened after I finished living with him. It was a weird emotion coming out from my deep heart. Even though I had many conflicts with him on various issues, I couldn't say I hated him. I was often irritated by his lifestyles, but I couldn't directly declare that I 'hated' him. Of course, I still complained about him, but now I realized I also liked him for some undefinable reasons. I couldn't explain where this paradoxical feeling came from.
Even more weird fact was that his absence made me feel more lonely and empty. Did I feel something's missing in my heart? Was I missing the life with my first roommate? My reason said 'no', but my emotion whispered me 'yes'. It was very ironical that my bad feeling toward him disappeared after that. Yes. I think I was missing him so much. I didn't know why.
"...I think we should've done better to each other,..right?"
" I think so, too...I regret irritating you so much...I'm so sorry for that"
" That's okay..I think we're still good friends.. and I miss you so much these days...
Wasn't our first semester exciting and dramatic? "
" Yeah....it was dramatic.... I think we can have even a better time if we meet again as a roommate......."
Now I realize, some hard times can be remembered as a valuable memory. Most often, what remains in people's heart for long time is a very harsh and challenging memory, not an easy and smooth one. My numerous episodes, conflicts, and troubles with Jaehyuk made me keep a lot of memories about him. Whether these memories are good or bad? It does not matter. What matters is whether or not we have learned something valuable through experiencing each other.
I believe it was a valuable experience. I've learned this is how friendship can be even more intimate than before. We never said stuff like "I love you forever!" or even "You're my best friend until the end of the world!" to each other. We said stuffs like "Hey you loser!! I'm much taller than you!" or "You don't know how to enjoy a life. Let's play a game!!" instead. We didn't even care about each others' birthdays. What's more, we frequently fought over trivial issues: whether we have to wake up at early 6 or 6:10, or whether we have to clean up every Tuesday or Wednesday.
Yes. That's kind of weird friendship that we shared during the first semester in the room 105. I can't describe this feeling neither in a concise manner nor with commonly used adjectives. It was a kind of vague feeling toward each other. When we had some fights, we often said "I hate you!", but I know that was not what we really intended. Although we didn't have same hobbies, interests and lifestyles, we knew we were good friends; we just didn't express it. That's how our friendship worked.
" Jaehyuk, I think you should stop playing games."
" Would you like to join me?"
"Arrrrrr... we have to STUDY!! This is wrong...."
What's even more frustrating was that he always had conflicts with me on various issues. We have never had same opinions about anything. I liked listening to Rock music, while he thought that Rock is a mere mixture of annoying noises. Instead, he listened to Hip Hop, which I regarded a very low-quality music genre. He also loved to talk about baseball, while I loved Kim Yuna's figure skating video. I enjoyed watching the Pirate of Carribean and the Dark Knight, but he did not like any Hollywood movies.
This is how I lived with my first roommate in the first semester in KMLA. We ended up the semester with a conclusion that we were not a fitting roommate for each other: there were tremendous differences in lifestyle, hobbies, and interests.
But something unexplainable happened after I finished living with him. It was a weird emotion coming out from my deep heart. Even though I had many conflicts with him on various issues, I couldn't say I hated him. I was often irritated by his lifestyles, but I couldn't directly declare that I 'hated' him. Of course, I still complained about him, but now I realized I also liked him for some undefinable reasons. I couldn't explain where this paradoxical feeling came from.
Even more weird fact was that his absence made me feel more lonely and empty. Did I feel something's missing in my heart? Was I missing the life with my first roommate? My reason said 'no', but my emotion whispered me 'yes'. It was very ironical that my bad feeling toward him disappeared after that. Yes. I think I was missing him so much. I didn't know why.
" I think so, too...I regret irritating you so much...I'm so sorry for that"
" That's okay..I think we're still good friends.. and I miss you so much these days...
Wasn't our first semester exciting and dramatic? "
" Yeah....it was dramatic.... I think we can have even a better time if we meet again as a roommate......."
Now I realize, some hard times can be remembered as a valuable memory. Most often, what remains in people's heart for long time is a very harsh and challenging memory, not an easy and smooth one. My numerous episodes, conflicts, and troubles with Jaehyuk made me keep a lot of memories about him. Whether these memories are good or bad? It does not matter. What matters is whether or not we have learned something valuable through experiencing each other.
I believe it was a valuable experience. I've learned this is how friendship can be even more intimate than before. We never said stuff like "I love you forever!" or even "You're my best friend until the end of the world!" to each other. We said stuffs like "Hey you loser!! I'm much taller than you!" or "You don't know how to enjoy a life. Let's play a game!!" instead. We didn't even care about each others' birthdays. What's more, we frequently fought over trivial issues: whether we have to wake up at early 6 or 6:10, or whether we have to clean up every Tuesday or Wednesday.
Yes. That's kind of weird friendship that we shared during the first semester in the room 105. I can't describe this feeling neither in a concise manner nor with commonly used adjectives. It was a kind of vague feeling toward each other. When we had some fights, we often said "I hate you!", but I know that was not what we really intended. Although we didn't have same hobbies, interests and lifestyles, we knew we were good friends; we just didn't express it. That's how our friendship worked.
(Love your intro, but felt it ended a bit abruptly, calling for more rhythm. My changes are just a suggestion, so feel free to play with it.)
답글삭제I still clearly remember the first day I met him. It was the last day of January, 2010(,) and it was also the first day I'D entered the dormitory of THE Korean Minjok Leadership Academy, the most prestigious high school in this nation. WITH GREAT PRIDE(,) I WAS ENJOYING MY FIRST MOMENTS AS A FRESHMAN, FULL OF AMBITIOUS HOPES FOR AN ACTIVE SCHOOL LIFE ENJOYED WITH LIKE-MINDED PEERS. UPON ENTERING ROOM 105, HOWEVER, THESE HOPES WERE SHATTERED.
(DELETE just enjoying the very moment of being a freshman of KMLA, which were totally shattered the next day in the dormitory room 105.)
On that day, I met THE (DELETE my) first roommate I'D EVER HAD in my entire life (DELETE (I had never ever lived with others in one room until I came to KMLA.)) His name was Jaehyuk. He was a short, chubby guy, and I could notice that he LOVED playing baseball, INFERRED (DELETE inferring) from his baseball cap and gloves in his backpack.
"Hey, what's your name?" he asked.
" My name is SeungChan, and I'm from Jeju-do(.)"
"Oooh, I came from Seoul. My name is Jaehyuk. Nice to meet you."
" Nice to meet you, too. I hope I CAN (DELETE could) have a great semester with you."
" Don't worry....it will be very exciting and funny!!"(CONSIDER "FUN" OR A DIFFERENT WORD THAN FUNNY. SOUNDS AWKWARD)
THE Next day, he started to enjoy THIS (DELETE an) extremely 'exciting' life in the room WITHOUT ME.
(DELETE What's) WHAT WAS even more frustrating was that he always had conflicts with me OVER (DELETE on) various issues. We have never had THE same opinions about anything.
(THIS essay is good, but you have to settle on a verb tense. You are mixing past/present. I assume you still like rock and he still likes rap, and he still exists - so maybe maintain present at times when describing a quality rather than an event - which SHOULD be past).
I LIKE (DELETE liked listening to) Rock (DELETE music), while he THINKS (DELETE thought that) (DELETE Rock is a) IT'S JUST A mere mixture of annoying noises. Instead, he LISTENS (DELETE listened) to Hip Hop, which I REGARD (DELETE regarded) AS a very low-quality music genre. He also LOVES (DELETE loved) to talk about baseball, while I LOVE (DELETE loved) Kim Yuna's figure skating videoS. I ENJOY (DELETE enjoyed) watching MOVIES LIKE the Pirates of Caribbean and the Dark Knight, but he DOES not like any Hollywood movies.
(These examples are a bit generic, to be honest, and I can't see how they'd make living with someone that difficult. Dig deeper and don't be afraid to be just a little mean. It's forgivable if you are finally nice to this guy in the end. Did he leave dirty socks on your bed? Did he do something in the bathroom (like forgetting to flush) that irked you? Movies and music are a bit surface level).
This is how I lived with my first roommate in the first semester in KMLA. We ended up (DELETE the semester) with a conclusion that we were not (DELETE a) fitting roommate(S) for each other: there were tremendous differences in lifestyle, hobbies, and interests.
(Give me more than the above! Don't be afraid to deliver the goods honestly!)
But something unexplainable happened after I finished living with him. It was a weird emotion coming out from my deep heart. Even though I had many conflicts with him OVER (DELETE on) various issues, I couldn't say I hated him. I was often irritated by his LIFESTYLE (DELETE lifestyles), but I couldn't directly declare that I 'hated' him. Of course, I still complained about him, but (DELETE now) AT THE TIME I realized THAT I also liked him for some undefinable reasons. I couldn't explain where this paradoxical feeling came from.
Even more weird WAS THE fact (DELETE was) that his absence made me feel more lonely and empty. Did I feel something WAS missing in my heart? Was I missing the life with my first roommate? My reason said 'no', but my emotion whispered TO me 'yes'. It was very IRONIC (DELETE ironical) that my bad feeling toward him disappeared after that. Yes. I think I was missing him so much. I didn't know why.
답글삭제"...I think we should've BEEN (DELETE done) better to each other...right?"
" I think so, too...I regret irritating you so much...I'm so sorry for that(.)"
" That's okay..I think we're still good friends... and I miss you so much these days...Wasn't our first semester exciting and dramatic?"
" Yeah....it was dramatic.... I think we can have AN even (DELETE a) better time if we BECOME ROOMMATES AGAIN." (DELETE meet again as a roommate.......")
(I don't think you need so many "....." in here. They are distracting and oddly placed.)
Now I realize THAT some hard times can be remembered as a valuable memory. Most often, what remains in people's heart for A long time is a very harsh and challenging memory, not an easy and smooth one.
INSTEAD, we said STUFF (DELETE stuffs) like "Hey you loser!! I'm much taller than you!" or "You don't know how to enjoy (DELETE a) life. Let's play a game!!" (DELETE instead.) We didn't even care about each others' birthdays. What's more, we frequently fought over trivial issues: whether we have to wake up EARLY at (DELETE early) 6 or 6:10, or whether we have to clean up every Tuesday or Wednesday.
Yes. That's THE kind of weird friendship that we shared during the first semester in (DELETE the) room 105.
Although we didn't have THE same hobbies, interests and lifestyles, we knew we were good friends; we just didn't express it. That's how our friendship worked.
This is nicely written, with a thoughtful sincere tone that fits the content nicely. Part of life is learning how to adapt to people and places we aren't always suitably matched for, and KMLA does this in spades. Sometimes friction between two people ultimately results in understanding and therefore the weird closeness you describe. If we get along with someone perfectly and politely and never have conflict - do we really know each other? Not really. As the saying goes: "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."
답글삭제On that note, it might be helpful for you to pull in some outside quotes or some sort of material from another source to add some quirky flare and depth to this essay. For a first draft, this is good, but for a second I'd ask you to add more of the attention grabbing details that readers love - such as what REALLY went on in room 105. I doubt it was just movies and rock music that caused the rifts. Entertain your readers with some surprising honesty. What's the craziest thing that happened?
As well, the ending is good, but I'm wondering - who do you live with now, how is it different, and do you still hang out with your old roommate?
Good stuff (not stuffs) Seungchan.
Great pics btw.
답글삭제